A Week in the Life of Prof - And a Mistake

Sup y'all. I'm back.

Where was I? Well, let's just say the 30 Day Challenge doesn't give me a lot of downtime. I'm tired ALL the time and poor to boot. It's not an avoidable downside to the challenge, but what can I say? Better than before.

So lots of cool stuff. Highlights include meeting the receptionist at my yoga studio, her inviting to hang out with her friends, me going back with them to watch a movie at their house (without the yoga girl), meeting her friend from SPAIN--courting her (chocolates and all! Don't worry, not chode like... promise). And I am taking her out tomorrow night because she's cool as any person I've met here... and from SPAIN. Did I mention that? Feeling good, but I'll need to define the relationship early so I don't end up like the old Protag (just kidding! sort of). Will let you know how that goes.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, I made a serious MISTAKE. A ROOKIE mistake... but my development's been slow, so that's alright. I spent time with a girl I shoudn't have. And by SHOULDN'T I mean: not particularly attracted to her physically, iffy personality, and OTHER GUY IN HER LIFE. That said, I didn't quite know the extent about the "other guy", but I did know that I should not have been there... from the core of my being. Don't tell my mom.

What's the lesson behind all this? One thing: STANDARDS. Not numbers. I think nearly every person I talk to is not living up to the standards they KNOW they could set for themselves. I'm sure there are people who's standards are way too high--but to be honest, I don't think I really know anyone personally like that.

For me, my standards that night were all fucked up--she failed my "shit tests" but still ended up hooking up with me... are you kidding me? Not to mention I had to shower for like 3 hours just feel like a normal person again.

But standards go for my job too... I need to set them for my career, the people in my life, etc. I've always tried to make sure I felt comfortable not matter who the people in my life were--high, low, whatever--but I think I've been actually avoiding the BEST people because I subconsciously think I'm not worthy: of their companies, their friendship, their loving, etc.

Rambling post, I know. But this shit's important. I NEVER want to feel how I felt that night again. And I worry that the dirty hippie thing I like to rock is really cause I'm afraid of the beautiful/cool/together girls that gravitate to the preppy side of life. And that sucks.

One last thing: nightly posts. That's the goal... want to reflect more on life, and can't even remember most of last week. To come.

PROF