Rejected

I wish I had gotten to this post whilst it was fresher in my mind. But no matter.

Tuesday night Johnny6 and I cruised out to a hip little club to see Mickey Avalon and his backup crew, Dirt Nasty and Andre Legacy.

Dirt Nasty is pretty facking nasty. Plus he looks like a rapper version of Pauli Shore, which is pretty sweet.

The show was awesome, and the place was craaaawwwling with beautiful women. This was pretty intimidating to me, being my first day back in the field. Johnny6 was trying to stoke my confidence, telling me I'm a natural and pointing out girls to try one of his brilliant lines on. Seriously Mr 6, I will pay you in drinks to write my material.

The encouragement finally paid off, and I go the balls to go ask a group of 3 girls (the hottest ones there, I might add) if they'd like me to take a picture of them with the plastic-corset clad group of psycho-hipsters they were eyeing warily.

AND... I got shot down. They didn't even look at me. Just shook their heads and said no. Total cold shoulder.

But the strange thing was, it felt GREAT. I didn't care that I got shot down because I acted spontaneously and talked to them. And the were HOT!

Beginning to overcome my fear of women I'm attracted to was a huge rush. And even though I was rejected, I got a big confidence boost from just knowing I have the cajones to approach girls like that.

My lesson learned: Always approach the hot ones. Even if I get shot down, I'm on top of the world.

Baby I'm BACK

That's right, as of tonight, I've escaped paradise and I'm back in The City. Back in my pimpin bachelor pad in which I used to live with my ex-girlfriend. Back and single and ready to storm the town!!

So far, feels a bit lonely... But other than that I am truly excited!!

But Prof, back with the ex-girlfriend? After everything you told me??

Well, I'm sure you know what you're doing. You are the Prof, after all.

As for me, this week I'm going to try to make my pimpin' pad actually pimpin. And tuesday night, it's time for johnny6 and I to do the Jane Fonda (more like this). Or rather, have it done to us.

Now that dude looks like a PUA.

My Favorites: Reading is Like Going Out

This goes out to expatpua. You all remember him? Well he's back, and with a vengeance. He asked me what to read on this whole "game" thing, and I thought I'd collect it all here, just for the hell of it.

As with everything, your mileage may vary. But here's my best stuff....

THE LEGEND: The Game by Neil Strauss. You don't need to read it five times like me. But it's a good way to understand the self-development backbone behind all of this stuff, and meet some of the most important people in the "pick up" (bad word, but whatever) world: Mystery, Style, Tyler Durden, Jlaix, and Juggler, among others.

THE PHILOSOPHY: The Community FAQ. The ASF group put together a FAQ that gives insight into the very strange but powerful philosophy behind the PU community. An excellent, excellent start. Read it everyday or something.

THE CLASSICS: Alt.Seduction.Fast Archives, by Mystery, Tyler Durden, Jlaix, Juggler, and others. This is the most useful, fascinating, and most sheer joyful reading that you can do. This is everything that was written before anybody went commercial, anyone wrote any books about it, and basically it was all about a bunch of guys helping one another--with girls and beyond.

I HIGHLY suggest them, in roughly this order:

- Mystery. Read his first post and you'll understand why he's the true the godfather of the PU movement--even if he looks like a homeless man and makes questionable statements (like the purpose of life is to survive and replicate. Seriously.)





- Tyler Durden. The kid genius. He was a philosophy student when he started posting, and reading through his posts is informative, entertaining, and totally terrifying. He was truly obsessed, and deeply intelligent. His company has since taken a much more natural and "deep-seated change" attitude towards development, but early on he was just an analytical monster. And an incredibly effective writer. Props. (But still crazy.)





- Juggler. I just like him. He's the most "be yourself" of the gurus, and opposite of tyler druden in pretty much every possible way. Very short but powerful collection. More of his stuff is below.







- Jlaix. Saving the best for last. Read his entire collection from start to finish. He's actually somewhat psychotic, and it only makes his posts more fascinating. On top of that, he changes drastically over time, and there's even a STORY ARC in the second half. I used to read it from 12:00am-1:00am on worknights, because I didn't want to go to work the next day (hmmm... still don't) and it was a total rush.

Others: Zan. I actually haven't read his collection, but he's like Juggler in that he seems like a truly good and cool person. David Shade. Learn how to "stack orgasms"!!! The sex god of the PUA community. (As opposed to me, who's only advice is to always use at least two fingers.) Toecutter. A very smart Australian guy that Tyler Durden absolutely loves; both are very analytical and generally amoral. (Also good to read if you tend to think Australian guys are really cool.)

Others to check out: MrSex4uNYC, TokyoPUA, ManiacHigh. The old guard--classic stuff that shaped everyone above.

THE CURRENT LEADER: Real Social Dynamics. Weirdly enough, it turns out the "villian" from the book has created the best blog, forums, and free stuff on the web. Read with a critical eye, but he's evolved into a total "lifestyle/true personality" kind of guy. Best stuff:

- Tyler Durden's Blog. This seems like the best place to admit I've had TWO dreams about meeting Tyler. His blog entries are pretty phenomenal. Start here and here for a taste.

- RSD Forum. An extremely active forum, with some great guys posting. It's also a great place to see what's wrong with the "community": guys that have posted 300 times and then write, "I've gotten two numbers in the last year...". Scary.

But the good guys are great: read everything by Danny Ocean--start here. Manwhore, 10Pin, and Tyler are great too. Here's another great thread to start with by terminator.

- Tyler Durden LIVE. There's a 2 hour audio clip of TD being TD. It's both informative and humorous. Remember, the man is insane.

THE GOOD GUY: Juggler. I love this guy. But I agree with Style that in some ways he's not really a PUA--he doesn't have the deep-seated dissatisfaction with himself or obsessive analytic approach that others have. He's more just a charming person who think a lot about people in general. He's a standup comedian as well, so that helps. His company is called "Charisma Arts," and there are some clips of him juggling, talking to guys, and of his show "Seduction School" made for the BBC. Finally, he also wrote a book called "How to Become a Pick Up Artist" that is GREAT. Hit me if you're interested--but be sure to pay for it if you like it. As I said, I love this guy.

Finaly.... THE INSPIRATION: "Tribute to Sarging" by Loverboy. Made by one of the original group of PUAs, this video captures the "espirit de corps" (and the heartache often behind it) better than anything I've ever read. And everyone knows watching's easier than reading. Enjoy.

You all benefit from my job hunting procrastination, but it's been a fun trip down memory lane. Post your favorites, and let me know what you think...

PROF
p.s. Thanks to this random guy for the pua pictures... lots of fun, especially back before everyone was out in the open.. Here's my favorite for your enjoyment: STYLE AND MYSTERY! Starring the snake skin suit from The Game.

The X Factor

I'll keep this one short. This is just some Protag and others can laugh at me and say, "I told you so."

My ex and I spent a wonderful evening together. And night. And morning.

And in the middle of the night, I told her: "Last time we did this, it nearly killed me because you and me were still being with other people. While we figure out what's going on between us this time, can we just put a moratorium on other people?"

Two days later she said yes.

So I'm hanging out with my ex, she's hanging out with me, and neither of us is hanging out with anyone else.

Is that like being back together?

?

PROF

Fast Times in Prof's Life

Been away a while. What's up everyone.

Life has been pretty up and down lately. The up included spending Saturday night with an amazing girl (you should see her dance), that I'd feel a little weird writing much about it. Let's just say:

a) Keep checking up on my emotions. Life's gotten easier since I started thinking in terms of "how would I feel if...." in my head. I imagine lots of bad and good things in the moment, and make sure that I emotionally and realistically could deal with them well. In the case girls, I try to ensure that I WOULD NOT CARE (MUCH) if a girl likes me or not. Reacting too much when they like you= low value, and reacting too much if she doesn't = desperation.

As I said, she's was an amazing dancer, and I just kept on telling myself, "If she keeps dancing with me cool! If not, whatever, I'll dance with [other girl]." That emotionally freed me up... and she kept coming back to me (but only after dancing with a random guy for what felt like an hour. Can we say shit test?)

b) Be a gentleman. I unfortunately became a little "pushy," and a little hard on girls over the last few months. Which is weird--the last thing I want to do is pressure any girl to do anything, really. Not my style. (As opposed to my friend who lives by the "just the tip" strategy. Disturbing.) But twice in a row I found myself being pushy in bed, and it creating a bad situation whether or not it "worked."

And on top of it, I started giving very few genuine compliments. I spent a lot of time joking around, showing little concrete interest, and so on. But recently I just started being much more direct, once the girls deserved it (actually based on how they treated me rather than what I think they would like hear, etc.) Not only did it feel better, but it made the interactions much deeper. So on Saturday night, after dancing for awhile, I just told her, "That was great. I want to see you again. Plans tonight?", etc. Felt like what a quality guy would do.

And in bed, she said, "not tonight" and I said, "Then we definitely won't." Removing the negative emotions, and accepting what's there felt GREAT. (And you can guess what happened.)

But there's been downs as well. My job is going nowhere fast, and I need to make some pretty remarkable changes to stay on top of things there. Don't know if I'll be able to, to be honest. But that's for another post.

And then there's the ex-girlfriend...

Don't be a Stu

I think everybody needs to watch the "Tao of Steve." I highly recommend this film. Prof. it's no "Roger Dodger" but worthy of a viewing.

Taking Stock - One Week of Hits

Hey all - Busy week for Prof. Going to try to learn some lessons from it all--since that's what it seems all the other guys do to deal with CONSTANT REJECTION.

But let me back up. Here's the week in short:

(A) Email to girl in elevator (good times, btw.) No response.

(B) Girl Wednesday - Make out on my bed until she starts saying, "I feel like I shouldn't be doing this." I push (seriously, this is not me...), get sensitive, and eventually complete my transformation from "playful sexual confident guy" to "can't-get-laid-sensitive-total-weirdo-guy". Excellent. From answering my calls with "Nothing. What are YOU doing??" to answering my calls with... nothing at all.

(C) Called hot waitress. Said "Waitress?" She hung up. Left chode message. Super-chode. Like straight-up 9th grade high school style. No response--shocking. Sent her text two days later; no response. Dead dead dead.

(D) Spent friday dancing with a friend. She's cute, it was hot. I'm thinking "This is fun." Then at 3:00am walking home I'm thinking... what a complete waste. Just a lonely walk, while other guys escort their brides-to-be home...

(E) Saturday night: go to the party my ex begged me to go to... and watch her flirt with this total chode all night (he's tall! wearing a trucker hat! and doesn't shave! DO ME!!!!! - girls get a fucking grip). And when I mean all night, I mean I said about 10 words to her the entire night, because she was "out of sight" with the guy. Quite the host. But most of all I'm like--fuck, THIS guy is hooking it tonight, and I'M not? With my ex? Jesus. Pain.

(Maverick wants to know whats up with ex's tormenting me long after the breakup--ones that I instigated. Ummm... tough to explain. I think the painful part for me is just seeing a guy hook up with her EASILY while I'm not hooking up with anyone. It's like, HE'S JUST GOING TO FUCK YOU??? JUST LIKE THAT??? Goddamn. That's justifiably depressing when you're out of luck in the same situation. But I'm also a jealous person, evidently. And sensitive.)

(F) Foreign girl blows me off. Friday. Today (I think--no response yet.) Good fucking times. What did I do with her wrong? Didn't pursue, played it too cool--chasing other girls, and this one goes cold. Sad.

(G) Then the general realization: what if it is actually HARD to be with girls? Like what if it's actually difficult, and I'm not just lazy and rarely put myself in good situations? And THAT question scares the shit out of me. I know that's some guys' frames, and I suddenly got this sneak-peek of the DESPERATION that must consume some guys out there. But it will not be mine and not anyone one this blog hopefully. But even understanding that way of thinking totally fucks with me.

As I remember telling Protag once: there's "quality" music at every level musical complexity/skill. Pavement really suck at their instruments: but their music is still really "good"--we appreciate "goodness" (authenticity? spontaneity? dunno...) across different levels of skill. So although Bill Evans and Pavement are light-years different in terms of musical sophistication, but both share "quality." (If this reminds of Pirsig's Zen and Art of Motorcycle Maintainence... well it probably should.)

So that's always been my attitude: whatever your level, opportunities, etc., you can still make QUALITY music, love, work, etc. (check out Opus 40 for instance)--but you can also make SHITTY things despite a high level of skill (see lots of jazz fusion).

Why I am writing this: I felt the pangs of DESPERATION for the first time in a long time--when I realized I've been going out for three weeks pretty much all week, and yet every girl has fallen off and the person I actually slept with was a TOTAL PSYCHO.

I live in the land of plenty (as you all know). It is depressing, and makes me doubt myself. I need to stop. There's quality at every level, and I'm sure I can find it for myself wherever I am. But damn... scary to see what lies over the edge.

LESSONS:
a) Pursue--pursue without desperation, but understand that some things in life require it.
b) Do not interact with important people when you're "out of state." The answers will not come to you.
c) Find ways of GETTING IN STATE. (I've thought of some sports analogies for things... Maverick?)
d) Ditch the desperation... make people work to be in your life--enjoy everyone but keep your standards.
e) Be sexually forward when the situation is FIRST presented. Do not hold back. Do not feel ashamed. Because holding back DESTROYS what the person sees in you in the first place.
f) Hook up outside, in bathrooms, etc. See above. (My ex always wanted to fuck outside, and I never understood until now... she wanted ME not to be able to wait.)

Random thoughts for a Sunday--and a long week.

Prof
p.s. Just re-set up my Wii. Never a great sign.

Prof's Greatest Hits

Okay, last night was a fucking disaster. Made the same old mistakes. Maverick's heard the sob story--I'll spare the rest of you. For now.

So at the end of hard two days, this is what--eventually--a NOT ATTRACTIVE girl tells me at the bar:

"There a few things that are important to me. College football is one of them. If you're not interested in college football, then I can't talk to you."

Seri-ous-ly. Just wanted to share my pain.

PROF

Sabotage

I called a very hot girl who's number I got.

I called. She said, "Hello?" I said, "[her name]?"

She hung-up.

No joke. Called again and left a message.

CHUMP. Will analyze later. But talk about self-sabotage: from the very first word. And I haven't even described the message I left. Wow. Let's just repeat one line,

"I somehow convinced you to give me your number..." No joke. That is not joke. That is fucking VERBATIM.

Sabotage. But what's behind it?

-prof

The most hated man in the court

I'm not sure what to make of my current living situation. Fairly average; by default I have been absorbed into a group of friends who previously lived in this house. The group is four guys who enjoy each others company and their four serious girlfriends. It has come to my attention that these four women and one of the guys dislikes me a great deal. Following whatever event I am excluded from some gossip discloses that the topic of conversation was me, and what a piece of shit I am.

Now what I ever did to these people other than show them that it is possible to live a live without codependency and suburban dreams I don't know. Most surprising is the fact that I'm blamed for the actions of another person. The friend who introduced me to this group has since moved in with his girlfriend and started smoking large quantities of weed. My fault. At his housewarming party he got drunk and left for three hours. My fault. I sat in the living room while his girlfriend harshly blamed me for his absence and bringing up similar situations in the past, many of which I was not present for. She must have been too focused on keeping her slack jawed expression to hear my explanation. These people whose lives are so boring have endowed me with an imaginary life that I could not live up to in a hundred years. I'm honored by their belief that I'm a wild party animal who lacks morals and corrupts all I look at like a worse Midas. Yet I don't want it. Of course, were I to start looking for a girl to marry and start enjoying my job I'd shed my reputation; possibly.

My plan is to move out, but financially that may take a month or two. So in the meantime...
I'm open to suggestions.

Stuck in Paradise

Sooooooooo, it's not going great. It's not going badly either. It's just not going anywhere.

Basically I'm stuck in a paradise which shall remain unnamed with my (now) ex-girlfriend. Though it's getting harder and harder to remember she's my ex. Bad news I know.

In 20 days I return to The City and my new, improved life. I only hope I can kick half as much ass as you guys.

Until then, purgatory.

I shall stay strong!!

-Protagonist

Never let 'em see you smile...

I noticed Prof seems to have some trouble with the AMOGing, although I'm almost 100% certain that he's been the AMOG in several instances and wasn't even aware.

I have a simple fix. Like always, my shit is uncomplicated. Childish, even. But it works. Go try it and then try to tell me it doesn't.

What do you think when you're opening a set with both dudes and ladies and that one dude is not smiling or laughing along with you at all? Scratch that, you're not opening a set. You're just hanging out. Think about what it does to you. You start thinking, maybe not even consciously, I have to get this guy on board. Does he not like me? You see, nothing he's giving you is conclusive, because he is expressionless. Desireless. You have NO IDEA what he's thinking.

The AMOG respects the guy who doesn't smile. Because he's like a garden snake to a two-year old- just as scared of you as you are of him. Believe that. Don't smile. Now as is the case with most of my practices, there's a creepy way to do this. Don't be creepy about it. Practice not smiling, and just experience all your emotions without the expression. It's easy to get better and better. Literally scold yourself if you catch a smile on your face (don't scold yourself out loud, freak). If you MUST smile, go ahead. But Maverick has NEVER been in a must smile situation, and Maverick has been in almost every situation ever.

Open a set without any smiles, especially if you sense an AMOG like Obi Wan sensed Darth. Don't act like Maverick is a nerd everyone knows Star Wars. Never even disrespect Maverick in the inner sanctum of your own mind.

This is one of those rules that will help you in every situation. People will think you're a G. Because people are scared. Hell, Maverick gets scared sometimes. It's true. Keep the expressionless face on and you'll be surprised at the pleasant outcomes. Example A: AMOG is ripping into you. You want to smile. Badly. You're a little nervous. But now that you have sat there underneath this torrent of abuse, the fact that you have remained expressionless opens up new avenues for you. You can, while remaining expressionless, desireless, make him feel embarrassed for doing that to you. You can say, "Wow," or "Jesus." Someone who says that while smiling just got BITCHED. Someone who says that with no smile is a MUTHAFUCKIN G. Because this dude just gave you his best shot and, although inside your head you are in the fetal position sobbing, to the outside world that little bitch had no effect on you. The girls get wet. He might apologize. They might apologize FOR him, and holy lord Jesus at that point you may as well be standing in their vaginas with an umbrella and a canoe.

I'm telling you. And it's not even that hard. At first you literally have to control the muscles in your face. Then you don't even have to tell yourself not to smile. And then everyone thinks that you've got something going on. That makes you stronger. Relaxed. Because they know that they are scared, and they wonder why you're not.