I'm not sure what to make of my current living situation. Fairly average; by default I have been absorbed into a group of friends who previously lived in this house. The group is four guys who enjoy each others company and their four serious girlfriends. It has come to my attention that these four women and one of the guys dislikes me a great deal. Following whatever event I am excluded from some gossip discloses that the topic of conversation was me, and what a piece of shit I am.
Now what I ever did to these people other than show them that it is possible to live a live without codependency and suburban dreams I don't know. Most surprising is the fact that I'm blamed for the actions of another person. The friend who introduced me to this group has since moved in with his girlfriend and started smoking large quantities of weed. My fault. At his housewarming party he got drunk and left for three hours. My fault. I sat in the living room while his girlfriend harshly blamed me for his absence and bringing up similar situations in the past, many of which I was not present for. She must have been too focused on keeping her slack jawed expression to hear my explanation. These people whose lives are so boring have endowed me with an imaginary life that I could not live up to in a hundred years. I'm honored by their belief that I'm a wild party animal who lacks morals and corrupts all I look at like a worse Midas. Yet I don't want it. Of course, were I to start looking for a girl to marry and start enjoying my job I'd shed my reputation; possibly.
My plan is to move out, but financially that may take a month or two. So in the meantime...
I'm open to suggestions.
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I already related this story to Johnny6... but for the rest of y'all:
Worst summer of my life was spent living with one "good friend" and another "good guy" in a house in a "cool city."
What went wrong? I don't know. Really don't. Spent most of the time trying get along with, and failing that, impress the other guys. It was weird--another guy lived with us for a week randomly, and he and i immediately hit it off. And I just realized--sometimes you just gotta GET OUT. People are on different journies, and sometimes they will just be too divergent to work.
Postscript to the summer: the only time that we got along was when I just consciously thought "fuck them. whatever." then suddenly they were friendly and cool again towards me--in some respects, they were like girls. They wanted a challenge, push-back, assessed my value in terms of unresponsiveness to them, etc. Again, not bad guys (and girls obviously not bad either) but they just fell into some bad patterns.
And the only lasting solution? Get out. It's like being stuck in a bad job, bad relationship, etc.: make the best of what you got, but know that whatever you can do with that situation is just to prepare you for the situation/job/relationship that you deserve and WILL get in the future.
word. and listening to taleb kweli's "get by" will also make everything alright.
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