Fast Times in Prof's Life

Been away a while. What's up everyone.

Life has been pretty up and down lately. The up included spending Saturday night with an amazing girl (you should see her dance), that I'd feel a little weird writing much about it. Let's just say:

a) Keep checking up on my emotions. Life's gotten easier since I started thinking in terms of "how would I feel if...." in my head. I imagine lots of bad and good things in the moment, and make sure that I emotionally and realistically could deal with them well. In the case girls, I try to ensure that I WOULD NOT CARE (MUCH) if a girl likes me or not. Reacting too much when they like you= low value, and reacting too much if she doesn't = desperation.

As I said, she's was an amazing dancer, and I just kept on telling myself, "If she keeps dancing with me cool! If not, whatever, I'll dance with [other girl]." That emotionally freed me up... and she kept coming back to me (but only after dancing with a random guy for what felt like an hour. Can we say shit test?)

b) Be a gentleman. I unfortunately became a little "pushy," and a little hard on girls over the last few months. Which is weird--the last thing I want to do is pressure any girl to do anything, really. Not my style. (As opposed to my friend who lives by the "just the tip" strategy. Disturbing.) But twice in a row I found myself being pushy in bed, and it creating a bad situation whether or not it "worked."

And on top of it, I started giving very few genuine compliments. I spent a lot of time joking around, showing little concrete interest, and so on. But recently I just started being much more direct, once the girls deserved it (actually based on how they treated me rather than what I think they would like hear, etc.) Not only did it feel better, but it made the interactions much deeper. So on Saturday night, after dancing for awhile, I just told her, "That was great. I want to see you again. Plans tonight?", etc. Felt like what a quality guy would do.

And in bed, she said, "not tonight" and I said, "Then we definitely won't." Removing the negative emotions, and accepting what's there felt GREAT. (And you can guess what happened.)

But there's been downs as well. My job is going nowhere fast, and I need to make some pretty remarkable changes to stay on top of things there. Don't know if I'll be able to, to be honest. But that's for another post.

And then there's the ex-girlfriend...