Happy Birthday to Prof.

The Unnatural

As Protag mentioned earlier he and I went out this past Friday. What he failed to mention was that the very forward Sarah saw him standing in the middle of a very crowded bar and beckoned him over to talk to her. Protag walked in, relaxed, felt confident and was immediately snatched up by a gorgeous woman who was very cool. That is the end game. To be so badass and confident that people will go out of their way to talk to you. Work beckons.

jonnys so money and he doesn't even know it

So me and johnny6 went out tonight and it was fucking awesome. I don't think I'll ever be that smooth at approaching. What I learned (from jonny) was don't be afraid to approach and girls are out at the bar to get laid. Case in point, game over game over. Now when to call the very forward sara?

This is from a conversation I had with Protag this morning. I was going to edit it but I think I'll post as is (typos and all). I'd should also mention that the amoging done by my friends only helped and added a new challenge to my evening so I harbor no ill will towards them.

so M and i went to a book reading last night we had to piss so we duck into a bar and take a shot to so we don't feel bad about using the restroom
immediately we start talking to the girl next to us and hang out for about five minutes
then we leave, but after the reading we go back to the bar and she's still there
so M sends a drink down to her
(your move), we were waiting to smile crookedly but she ended up coming over
so we're talking mike's trying to run game straight from the book on her and she's not buying
so i get her sitting down at a table next to me and we start talking but the whole time A and M are amoging me
they had made a bet with the other bar patrons about who was going to close me or them
anyway they eventually get tired of standing there like idiots and leave, i opt to stay behind she has two full beers so i start drinking one
(p.s. you should save this and post it on c3)
anyway we talk turns out she has a boyfriend, but i can't tell it she's living with him or not
but we part ways and i invite her to A's party on Friday so she writes my number down, but when i ask for hers she says her phone is being changed over from michingan to sf because she just moved
but i've already seen her on it so i get a side hug and leave
Do you think she'll call?

me: dude that's awesome!
Yes I do think she'll call
or at least text



Also the reading was poorly attended but was enlivened by a stoned M sitting in the back laughing hysterically
There was also a girl who sat front and center and seemed eerily enamored with the author
When she got her book signed he said "To whom should I inscribe it" Her reply "pick a name for me, who do I look like to you"
His weary retort, "I'm not playing this game"
Anyway we ran around the Haight drunk until 11 and now I'm exhausted
A felt up some homeless lady
She wanted him too

Keep Changing - Best Thread Ever

Dudes-

Even though we're fucking around, I assume we're all headed somewhere too. In the middle of a transformation of sorts.

And even though becoming irresistable with the ladies is NOT the major goal in life, it's maybe the most interesting one for now. (Speaking of becoming irresistable: I just saw about 15 minutes of "Gossip Girl" and now I basically want to live like a rich prep school student in New York.)

So here's your inspiration: the best thread ever. Register and log-on to see some of the photos.

Word.

PROF

SB, God, PUAs

You know on how Google Earth you can get a whole new perspective on where you live or where you grew up? Looking at it from the heights above, appreciating its inherent beauty from a godlike position?

Well here's SB from the PUA perspective. Protag, what did I say about positivity?

"We walk inside the club and.. all the girls are screaming to be penetrated and made into little sluts. They are little slut robots waiting for the correct program.

"KY is nothing like this. Maybe it's why my game got so developed. KY is southern prudes who enjoy being hard to get more than anything else- I'm sure it is just a cultural thing. I walked into this Santa Barbara place and all the girls are clearly communicating that they are looking to be made into toys for my dick. Gawdamn

"I am in a candy store. I see a three-set and just open them hard. They all start talking excitedly and spread their slut feathers. They're all cute but there's no way I'm already settling in for the night. I tell them I'll be back. One girlie tries to make out with me. I casually look away and start talking about something else. I look back at her- she tries to make out with me again. She doesn't seem the type- I think her programming just tells her it is time now. I pull her face to the side and give her a kiss on her cheek."

It gets better. But I try to keep this blog PG-13.

Oh and the club? It was Q's. =)

Read the whole "field report" here. . The guy is something of a god in the RSD community. Manwhore. What an awesome name. I should make a shirt that says "We are all manwhore."

Right after I buy this one.

PROF

IKTMIT - Intro

Hey all-

Know I've been quiet over here. Took a trip back home last week, and as soon as I left the city I immediately had a flood of mini-epiphanies. It was crazy. And I wrote them down, in pieces in my journal but thought I'd put them here over the next few days so that a) I won't forget them, and b) maybe relate to your life. At least give you a chance to laugh at my mistakes...

IKTMIT: I know this much is true. Always wanted to write a small list of these "never forget" things, and that's what C3 is about, right? Or just sharing stories of getting laid (hmmm... a certain paucity of laid stories... protag???.... should work on that.)

Listening to "The Last Resort" by the Eagles as I email a lovely lady asking for her address to come over tonight. Life is not bad.

prof

Halloween... sucks?

Man, a lot of negative posts lately. Maybe it's because I'm re-trapped in paradise?

I went out tonight for halloween weekend with some friends. All of whom are in couples. Literally 4 couples and me. I don't mean to be so lame but launching from that is, well, difficult.

Everyone's like "Let's go dance!". And instantly, it's a bunch of twosomes dancing together.

Swiftly the night ends with people wanting to go home, to their comfy lived-in apartments where I'm sure they'll (in some cases, anyway) have sex and fall asleep. Or maybe not. Maybe at that point sex is saved for the early nights.

Either way it both makes me want to be in a relationship, any relationship AND be sooooooooo glad I'm single at the same time. What's the deal with that? Where are the women of quality, of class?

Certainly not here. Or at least not out at "Wildcat" on saturday night.

At some point during the night I essentially gave up and just kind of stood by a go-go dancer watching everything. Immediately I had a group of cat girls sidling up to me. I suppose that was an oppurtunity, but again there's some quality that's missing. An elegance, or, I dunno.

Anyway, standing by myself seemed by far the best move. Besides the cat girls, I had nurses taking my picture, school girls rubbing past closer than necessary...

But I still couldn't bring myself to make a move. I don't even know if I wanted to. The possible rejection would be devastating. Though it seems like it doesn't have to be.

I hope that someday flying absolutely solo I'll have as much confidence as the pimpinest playa. But for now, I'm not there.

I need a crew. A crew that is not couples who make me feel wistful. Where are all the good-time singles? Where's the 80s?

I need a crew of guys/girls who are ready for anything. Who, after I've been horribly shot down by a beautiful woman, will make fun of her with me. And who will not let me settle for anything less than an 8.

Maybe I'm not there yet, but I'm just about ready. Ready for action, ready for a better life. Ready to be single for the first time in, I dunno, 7 years.

I hope you guys are in the city in two months. Because then it is ON (like donkey kong).

Breaking up suuuuuuuuuuuucks

Well, clearly I haven't been posting on here for a while. And maybe not so clearly, it's out of embarrassment.

I'm single, right? I should have a sweet life right now and be partying and bettering myself and all that shit right?

So why am I, instead, depressed? I'm like that dude from Swingers in the beginning of the movie. Except less angry. And hopefully better looking.

I'll freely admit that I've thought A LOT about getting back together with her. Not to the point of acting upon it. But its definitely crossed my mind. The girl who it took me like 2 years to break up with. Who all my friends think is crazy. And for whom I had a million reasons why we shouldn't be together.

One thing I'm realizing with all this is the power of photos. Photos are like this amazing memory-eraser. I look back at all the photos of Angela and I, which unfortunately comprise pretty much my entire collection of photos for the past 3 years, and we look awesome. Our life looks awesome. We look happy. And when I look at these photos, the good times are all I can remember.

Anyway, I guess there's nothing new here. It's the classic post-breakup from so many Hollywood films. But for me this is the first time its really sucked this bad.

From now on I'm keeping my old break up tactic. Tried and true:

Leave the country.

What Prof's Been Up To

Hey all-

There have been three major events in prof's life in the last three or so weeks.

1) My wonderful laptop finally refused to work. At all. Like I need to find someone on Craig's list to get the stuff off my hard drive broken. This has been a large impediment to my c3 posting, among other things. But now I'm rocking the Apple thing and life is better than ever.

2) I've decided to leave my job. Soon. Although the details still need to be worked out (as in, I don't have another job lined up), and I am eager to spend some time in my metropolis without THIS job, and eager to move back to the West coast to join my family and friends. You know who you are (sorry Maverick).

3) My on-and-off girlfriend of the last year and a half cheated on me. And I found out because of a picture posted on the internet.

I'll let that sink in.

Just want to send a shout out to my friends and siblings (not that they will EVER read this =) for being there for me, etc. It's weird; when I broke up with her (the day I found out), I just kept repeating: "It's so low-class." I didn't mean it in an economic way at all--it was just incredibly lacking in integrity, decency, and all that good stuff. And I'm thankful for everyone in my life that is not like that--my high-class friends and family. And I hope I spend the rest of my life setting an example and spreading the *true* high-class life. A buddy of mine has a facebook quotation that says something like, "i've seen beauty and we shouldn't settle for less."

And I guess that's the good coming out of this. It's a re-evaluation, with my job, of the good and beautiful and true and what it means to me.

Which doesn't mean I'm above getting drunk and funky, plow some shit tests and rock it in the bedroom (or kitchen, or street, or whatever.) But it does mean that I'll do it to my standards.

Alright all. Other posts await.

PROF

My buddy and I were at Popeye's Chicken on Sunday and the girl working the counter gave me free popcorn chicken. I still got it guys. This smile's deadly to foul.

Do you guys know anything about Russian brides? I'm interested.

Rejected

I wish I had gotten to this post whilst it was fresher in my mind. But no matter.

Tuesday night Johnny6 and I cruised out to a hip little club to see Mickey Avalon and his backup crew, Dirt Nasty and Andre Legacy.

Dirt Nasty is pretty facking nasty. Plus he looks like a rapper version of Pauli Shore, which is pretty sweet.

The show was awesome, and the place was craaaawwwling with beautiful women. This was pretty intimidating to me, being my first day back in the field. Johnny6 was trying to stoke my confidence, telling me I'm a natural and pointing out girls to try one of his brilliant lines on. Seriously Mr 6, I will pay you in drinks to write my material.

The encouragement finally paid off, and I go the balls to go ask a group of 3 girls (the hottest ones there, I might add) if they'd like me to take a picture of them with the plastic-corset clad group of psycho-hipsters they were eyeing warily.

AND... I got shot down. They didn't even look at me. Just shook their heads and said no. Total cold shoulder.

But the strange thing was, it felt GREAT. I didn't care that I got shot down because I acted spontaneously and talked to them. And the were HOT!

Beginning to overcome my fear of women I'm attracted to was a huge rush. And even though I was rejected, I got a big confidence boost from just knowing I have the cajones to approach girls like that.

My lesson learned: Always approach the hot ones. Even if I get shot down, I'm on top of the world.

Baby I'm BACK

That's right, as of tonight, I've escaped paradise and I'm back in The City. Back in my pimpin bachelor pad in which I used to live with my ex-girlfriend. Back and single and ready to storm the town!!

So far, feels a bit lonely... But other than that I am truly excited!!

But Prof, back with the ex-girlfriend? After everything you told me??

Well, I'm sure you know what you're doing. You are the Prof, after all.

As for me, this week I'm going to try to make my pimpin' pad actually pimpin. And tuesday night, it's time for johnny6 and I to do the Jane Fonda (more like this). Or rather, have it done to us.

Now that dude looks like a PUA.

My Favorites: Reading is Like Going Out

This goes out to expatpua. You all remember him? Well he's back, and with a vengeance. He asked me what to read on this whole "game" thing, and I thought I'd collect it all here, just for the hell of it.

As with everything, your mileage may vary. But here's my best stuff....

THE LEGEND: The Game by Neil Strauss. You don't need to read it five times like me. But it's a good way to understand the self-development backbone behind all of this stuff, and meet some of the most important people in the "pick up" (bad word, but whatever) world: Mystery, Style, Tyler Durden, Jlaix, and Juggler, among others.

THE PHILOSOPHY: The Community FAQ. The ASF group put together a FAQ that gives insight into the very strange but powerful philosophy behind the PU community. An excellent, excellent start. Read it everyday or something.

THE CLASSICS: Alt.Seduction.Fast Archives, by Mystery, Tyler Durden, Jlaix, Juggler, and others. This is the most useful, fascinating, and most sheer joyful reading that you can do. This is everything that was written before anybody went commercial, anyone wrote any books about it, and basically it was all about a bunch of guys helping one another--with girls and beyond.

I HIGHLY suggest them, in roughly this order:

- Mystery. Read his first post and you'll understand why he's the true the godfather of the PU movement--even if he looks like a homeless man and makes questionable statements (like the purpose of life is to survive and replicate. Seriously.)





- Tyler Durden. The kid genius. He was a philosophy student when he started posting, and reading through his posts is informative, entertaining, and totally terrifying. He was truly obsessed, and deeply intelligent. His company has since taken a much more natural and "deep-seated change" attitude towards development, but early on he was just an analytical monster. And an incredibly effective writer. Props. (But still crazy.)





- Juggler. I just like him. He's the most "be yourself" of the gurus, and opposite of tyler druden in pretty much every possible way. Very short but powerful collection. More of his stuff is below.







- Jlaix. Saving the best for last. Read his entire collection from start to finish. He's actually somewhat psychotic, and it only makes his posts more fascinating. On top of that, he changes drastically over time, and there's even a STORY ARC in the second half. I used to read it from 12:00am-1:00am on worknights, because I didn't want to go to work the next day (hmmm... still don't) and it was a total rush.

Others: Zan. I actually haven't read his collection, but he's like Juggler in that he seems like a truly good and cool person. David Shade. Learn how to "stack orgasms"!!! The sex god of the PUA community. (As opposed to me, who's only advice is to always use at least two fingers.) Toecutter. A very smart Australian guy that Tyler Durden absolutely loves; both are very analytical and generally amoral. (Also good to read if you tend to think Australian guys are really cool.)

Others to check out: MrSex4uNYC, TokyoPUA, ManiacHigh. The old guard--classic stuff that shaped everyone above.

THE CURRENT LEADER: Real Social Dynamics. Weirdly enough, it turns out the "villian" from the book has created the best blog, forums, and free stuff on the web. Read with a critical eye, but he's evolved into a total "lifestyle/true personality" kind of guy. Best stuff:

- Tyler Durden's Blog. This seems like the best place to admit I've had TWO dreams about meeting Tyler. His blog entries are pretty phenomenal. Start here and here for a taste.

- RSD Forum. An extremely active forum, with some great guys posting. It's also a great place to see what's wrong with the "community": guys that have posted 300 times and then write, "I've gotten two numbers in the last year...". Scary.

But the good guys are great: read everything by Danny Ocean--start here. Manwhore, 10Pin, and Tyler are great too. Here's another great thread to start with by terminator.

- Tyler Durden LIVE. There's a 2 hour audio clip of TD being TD. It's both informative and humorous. Remember, the man is insane.

THE GOOD GUY: Juggler. I love this guy. But I agree with Style that in some ways he's not really a PUA--he doesn't have the deep-seated dissatisfaction with himself or obsessive analytic approach that others have. He's more just a charming person who think a lot about people in general. He's a standup comedian as well, so that helps. His company is called "Charisma Arts," and there are some clips of him juggling, talking to guys, and of his show "Seduction School" made for the BBC. Finally, he also wrote a book called "How to Become a Pick Up Artist" that is GREAT. Hit me if you're interested--but be sure to pay for it if you like it. As I said, I love this guy.

Finaly.... THE INSPIRATION: "Tribute to Sarging" by Loverboy. Made by one of the original group of PUAs, this video captures the "espirit de corps" (and the heartache often behind it) better than anything I've ever read. And everyone knows watching's easier than reading. Enjoy.

You all benefit from my job hunting procrastination, but it's been a fun trip down memory lane. Post your favorites, and let me know what you think...

PROF
p.s. Thanks to this random guy for the pua pictures... lots of fun, especially back before everyone was out in the open.. Here's my favorite for your enjoyment: STYLE AND MYSTERY! Starring the snake skin suit from The Game.

The X Factor

I'll keep this one short. This is just some Protag and others can laugh at me and say, "I told you so."

My ex and I spent a wonderful evening together. And night. And morning.

And in the middle of the night, I told her: "Last time we did this, it nearly killed me because you and me were still being with other people. While we figure out what's going on between us this time, can we just put a moratorium on other people?"

Two days later she said yes.

So I'm hanging out with my ex, she's hanging out with me, and neither of us is hanging out with anyone else.

Is that like being back together?

?

PROF

Fast Times in Prof's Life

Been away a while. What's up everyone.

Life has been pretty up and down lately. The up included spending Saturday night with an amazing girl (you should see her dance), that I'd feel a little weird writing much about it. Let's just say:

a) Keep checking up on my emotions. Life's gotten easier since I started thinking in terms of "how would I feel if...." in my head. I imagine lots of bad and good things in the moment, and make sure that I emotionally and realistically could deal with them well. In the case girls, I try to ensure that I WOULD NOT CARE (MUCH) if a girl likes me or not. Reacting too much when they like you= low value, and reacting too much if she doesn't = desperation.

As I said, she's was an amazing dancer, and I just kept on telling myself, "If she keeps dancing with me cool! If not, whatever, I'll dance with [other girl]." That emotionally freed me up... and she kept coming back to me (but only after dancing with a random guy for what felt like an hour. Can we say shit test?)

b) Be a gentleman. I unfortunately became a little "pushy," and a little hard on girls over the last few months. Which is weird--the last thing I want to do is pressure any girl to do anything, really. Not my style. (As opposed to my friend who lives by the "just the tip" strategy. Disturbing.) But twice in a row I found myself being pushy in bed, and it creating a bad situation whether or not it "worked."

And on top of it, I started giving very few genuine compliments. I spent a lot of time joking around, showing little concrete interest, and so on. But recently I just started being much more direct, once the girls deserved it (actually based on how they treated me rather than what I think they would like hear, etc.) Not only did it feel better, but it made the interactions much deeper. So on Saturday night, after dancing for awhile, I just told her, "That was great. I want to see you again. Plans tonight?", etc. Felt like what a quality guy would do.

And in bed, she said, "not tonight" and I said, "Then we definitely won't." Removing the negative emotions, and accepting what's there felt GREAT. (And you can guess what happened.)

But there's been downs as well. My job is going nowhere fast, and I need to make some pretty remarkable changes to stay on top of things there. Don't know if I'll be able to, to be honest. But that's for another post.

And then there's the ex-girlfriend...

Don't be a Stu

I think everybody needs to watch the "Tao of Steve." I highly recommend this film. Prof. it's no "Roger Dodger" but worthy of a viewing.

Taking Stock - One Week of Hits

Hey all - Busy week for Prof. Going to try to learn some lessons from it all--since that's what it seems all the other guys do to deal with CONSTANT REJECTION.

But let me back up. Here's the week in short:

(A) Email to girl in elevator (good times, btw.) No response.

(B) Girl Wednesday - Make out on my bed until she starts saying, "I feel like I shouldn't be doing this." I push (seriously, this is not me...), get sensitive, and eventually complete my transformation from "playful sexual confident guy" to "can't-get-laid-sensitive-total-weirdo-guy". Excellent. From answering my calls with "Nothing. What are YOU doing??" to answering my calls with... nothing at all.

(C) Called hot waitress. Said "Waitress?" She hung up. Left chode message. Super-chode. Like straight-up 9th grade high school style. No response--shocking. Sent her text two days later; no response. Dead dead dead.

(D) Spent friday dancing with a friend. She's cute, it was hot. I'm thinking "This is fun." Then at 3:00am walking home I'm thinking... what a complete waste. Just a lonely walk, while other guys escort their brides-to-be home...

(E) Saturday night: go to the party my ex begged me to go to... and watch her flirt with this total chode all night (he's tall! wearing a trucker hat! and doesn't shave! DO ME!!!!! - girls get a fucking grip). And when I mean all night, I mean I said about 10 words to her the entire night, because she was "out of sight" with the guy. Quite the host. But most of all I'm like--fuck, THIS guy is hooking it tonight, and I'M not? With my ex? Jesus. Pain.

(Maverick wants to know whats up with ex's tormenting me long after the breakup--ones that I instigated. Ummm... tough to explain. I think the painful part for me is just seeing a guy hook up with her EASILY while I'm not hooking up with anyone. It's like, HE'S JUST GOING TO FUCK YOU??? JUST LIKE THAT??? Goddamn. That's justifiably depressing when you're out of luck in the same situation. But I'm also a jealous person, evidently. And sensitive.)

(F) Foreign girl blows me off. Friday. Today (I think--no response yet.) Good fucking times. What did I do with her wrong? Didn't pursue, played it too cool--chasing other girls, and this one goes cold. Sad.

(G) Then the general realization: what if it is actually HARD to be with girls? Like what if it's actually difficult, and I'm not just lazy and rarely put myself in good situations? And THAT question scares the shit out of me. I know that's some guys' frames, and I suddenly got this sneak-peek of the DESPERATION that must consume some guys out there. But it will not be mine and not anyone one this blog hopefully. But even understanding that way of thinking totally fucks with me.

As I remember telling Protag once: there's "quality" music at every level musical complexity/skill. Pavement really suck at their instruments: but their music is still really "good"--we appreciate "goodness" (authenticity? spontaneity? dunno...) across different levels of skill. So although Bill Evans and Pavement are light-years different in terms of musical sophistication, but both share "quality." (If this reminds of Pirsig's Zen and Art of Motorcycle Maintainence... well it probably should.)

So that's always been my attitude: whatever your level, opportunities, etc., you can still make QUALITY music, love, work, etc. (check out Opus 40 for instance)--but you can also make SHITTY things despite a high level of skill (see lots of jazz fusion).

Why I am writing this: I felt the pangs of DESPERATION for the first time in a long time--when I realized I've been going out for three weeks pretty much all week, and yet every girl has fallen off and the person I actually slept with was a TOTAL PSYCHO.

I live in the land of plenty (as you all know). It is depressing, and makes me doubt myself. I need to stop. There's quality at every level, and I'm sure I can find it for myself wherever I am. But damn... scary to see what lies over the edge.

LESSONS:
a) Pursue--pursue without desperation, but understand that some things in life require it.
b) Do not interact with important people when you're "out of state." The answers will not come to you.
c) Find ways of GETTING IN STATE. (I've thought of some sports analogies for things... Maverick?)
d) Ditch the desperation... make people work to be in your life--enjoy everyone but keep your standards.
e) Be sexually forward when the situation is FIRST presented. Do not hold back. Do not feel ashamed. Because holding back DESTROYS what the person sees in you in the first place.
f) Hook up outside, in bathrooms, etc. See above. (My ex always wanted to fuck outside, and I never understood until now... she wanted ME not to be able to wait.)

Random thoughts for a Sunday--and a long week.

Prof
p.s. Just re-set up my Wii. Never a great sign.

Prof's Greatest Hits

Okay, last night was a fucking disaster. Made the same old mistakes. Maverick's heard the sob story--I'll spare the rest of you. For now.

So at the end of hard two days, this is what--eventually--a NOT ATTRACTIVE girl tells me at the bar:

"There a few things that are important to me. College football is one of them. If you're not interested in college football, then I can't talk to you."

Seri-ous-ly. Just wanted to share my pain.

PROF

Sabotage

I called a very hot girl who's number I got.

I called. She said, "Hello?" I said, "[her name]?"

She hung-up.

No joke. Called again and left a message.

CHUMP. Will analyze later. But talk about self-sabotage: from the very first word. And I haven't even described the message I left. Wow. Let's just repeat one line,

"I somehow convinced you to give me your number..." No joke. That is not joke. That is fucking VERBATIM.

Sabotage. But what's behind it?

-prof

The most hated man in the court

I'm not sure what to make of my current living situation. Fairly average; by default I have been absorbed into a group of friends who previously lived in this house. The group is four guys who enjoy each others company and their four serious girlfriends. It has come to my attention that these four women and one of the guys dislikes me a great deal. Following whatever event I am excluded from some gossip discloses that the topic of conversation was me, and what a piece of shit I am.

Now what I ever did to these people other than show them that it is possible to live a live without codependency and suburban dreams I don't know. Most surprising is the fact that I'm blamed for the actions of another person. The friend who introduced me to this group has since moved in with his girlfriend and started smoking large quantities of weed. My fault. At his housewarming party he got drunk and left for three hours. My fault. I sat in the living room while his girlfriend harshly blamed me for his absence and bringing up similar situations in the past, many of which I was not present for. She must have been too focused on keeping her slack jawed expression to hear my explanation. These people whose lives are so boring have endowed me with an imaginary life that I could not live up to in a hundred years. I'm honored by their belief that I'm a wild party animal who lacks morals and corrupts all I look at like a worse Midas. Yet I don't want it. Of course, were I to start looking for a girl to marry and start enjoying my job I'd shed my reputation; possibly.

My plan is to move out, but financially that may take a month or two. So in the meantime...
I'm open to suggestions.

Stuck in Paradise

Sooooooooo, it's not going great. It's not going badly either. It's just not going anywhere.

Basically I'm stuck in a paradise which shall remain unnamed with my (now) ex-girlfriend. Though it's getting harder and harder to remember she's my ex. Bad news I know.

In 20 days I return to The City and my new, improved life. I only hope I can kick half as much ass as you guys.

Until then, purgatory.

I shall stay strong!!

-Protagonist

Never let 'em see you smile...

I noticed Prof seems to have some trouble with the AMOGing, although I'm almost 100% certain that he's been the AMOG in several instances and wasn't even aware.

I have a simple fix. Like always, my shit is uncomplicated. Childish, even. But it works. Go try it and then try to tell me it doesn't.

What do you think when you're opening a set with both dudes and ladies and that one dude is not smiling or laughing along with you at all? Scratch that, you're not opening a set. You're just hanging out. Think about what it does to you. You start thinking, maybe not even consciously, I have to get this guy on board. Does he not like me? You see, nothing he's giving you is conclusive, because he is expressionless. Desireless. You have NO IDEA what he's thinking.

The AMOG respects the guy who doesn't smile. Because he's like a garden snake to a two-year old- just as scared of you as you are of him. Believe that. Don't smile. Now as is the case with most of my practices, there's a creepy way to do this. Don't be creepy about it. Practice not smiling, and just experience all your emotions without the expression. It's easy to get better and better. Literally scold yourself if you catch a smile on your face (don't scold yourself out loud, freak). If you MUST smile, go ahead. But Maverick has NEVER been in a must smile situation, and Maverick has been in almost every situation ever.

Open a set without any smiles, especially if you sense an AMOG like Obi Wan sensed Darth. Don't act like Maverick is a nerd everyone knows Star Wars. Never even disrespect Maverick in the inner sanctum of your own mind.

This is one of those rules that will help you in every situation. People will think you're a G. Because people are scared. Hell, Maverick gets scared sometimes. It's true. Keep the expressionless face on and you'll be surprised at the pleasant outcomes. Example A: AMOG is ripping into you. You want to smile. Badly. You're a little nervous. But now that you have sat there underneath this torrent of abuse, the fact that you have remained expressionless opens up new avenues for you. You can, while remaining expressionless, desireless, make him feel embarrassed for doing that to you. You can say, "Wow," or "Jesus." Someone who says that while smiling just got BITCHED. Someone who says that with no smile is a MUTHAFUCKIN G. Because this dude just gave you his best shot and, although inside your head you are in the fetal position sobbing, to the outside world that little bitch had no effect on you. The girls get wet. He might apologize. They might apologize FOR him, and holy lord Jesus at that point you may as well be standing in their vaginas with an umbrella and a canoe.

I'm telling you. And it's not even that hard. At first you literally have to control the muscles in your face. Then you don't even have to tell yourself not to smile. And then everyone thinks that you've got something going on. That makes you stronger. Relaxed. Because they know that they are scared, and they wonder why you're not.

It's already broughten

News from the Left Coast. Protag and I have joined a book-club. My friend had recently joined and informed us of the quality of fellow members. Protag and I thought this sounded good and now we're reading "The Fountainhead." If my status of guybrarian doesn't impress the crowd my diorama will.

Tonight my book-club mentor and I went to a book reading. We're really not this nerdy. It was standard fare, populated by her friend and family a dorky mutton chop clad Johnny6. However, there was a slight twist. As I was waiting in line to get my book autographed I had my picture taken. Apparently they were taking everybody's picture and asking them their favorite thing. Johnny6: Cemeteries. (Myself might have been to vain an answer.) Some of these might end up on the author's website. So I'm chatting with the camera girl and decide that maybe I should take a picture of her. G: Sun dresses. And I realize it was nice to talk to somebody new and joke around she seemed genuinely cool. Although it ended there she has a picture to remember me and I have affirmation that the 30 Day Challenge is a chance to expand experiences like this.
The author was very polite when I got my book signed. Not very interested in talking but I gave it a shot Protag.

So the upshot I might end up on a website, no doubt a modeling career will follow.

Next week William Gibson's reading. I might try hitting on him too.

Also as I was going to lunch today I ran into a girl who I often see around and occasionally have fleeting conversations with. When I asked her where she was headed she responded "I have a meeting soon. Maybe we can get lunch tomorrow." Of course I agreed, whether this happens or not we'll see. I was shocked that she misinterpreted my question of destination as asking for a lunch date. Not sure how this will play out. But I'm taking it as a sign that she's interested in me and wanted me to ask her out. Downshot she's smarter than me. Kind of a deal-breaker

Day Who Knows

Today-

Went to a jazz club with Spain. She's great; instinctively just kissed her right when I saw, and she did to. Trouble.

Now that I'm finally seeing the jazz that my city's famous for, I'm also talking with the jazz guys and getting advice on teachers. And once you've picked your instrument, the next most important choice is your teacher. And I haven't had one for... oh... seven years. So that explains some things. More importantly, had I done this a year ago, I would have been playing (and improving) for the last year under the tutelage of a pro. But my expectations, standards, and general social m.o. were just too low to get me out there. Lesson learned for next city.

Anyway, before meeting up with Spain I called another girl I had hung out with. Total disaster. Left THE most chode like message ever. She's basically been screening my calls, I think: evidently my skills in the in sack not quite up to par. (Okay there's more to the story, but she basically betaed me in bed. Can explain but a bit painful. Just remember: women need the guy to TAKE CHARGE.)

But instead of calling her on it (white magic), or pretending not to care (black magic), I did the creepy middle ground of being hurt but trying not to sound hurt. Wow. Don't suggest doing that. It was like, "Hey it's Prof. Got your message about the piano... you should look at xyz... um, we haven't hung out for awhile. We should maybe soon and dance... that would be cool. Talk to you later."

Is that someone she wants to hang out with? No. What I wish I had said: "Hope you're not avoiding my calls. That would be soooo uncool. Especially after that orgasm I gave you." Or something like that. Maybe you all can think of something better.

Lesson: Don't hide your emotions--instead, make sure you're in the best state when calling. And don't leave messages; too difficult. Just leave textes and emails... much easier to get in the right frame of mind, etc.

Anyway, thought it was funny how as SOON as I left the message, I realized all the stuff I should have said/not said. But it was so unclear before I made the call.

It's also weird how much her avoiding my calls bothers me. We're not soul-mates or anything, and I've done that a hundred times, but it's always creepy just how powerful a little "push-pull" is. You know? How important someone's validation is; how important it is to "win them back." Which leads me to try to impress someone that I don't agree with by doing things I don't (particularly) agree with.

Weird world. End of day. Need to do actual work one of these days.

PROF

p.s. Postscript: Just received an email from a friend of a friend titled: 30 Day Challenge. It's become a "meme", and evidently her and two friends are launching their own versions. (Not yet invited to join C3, don't worry.) Also, my buddy just went to a tennis match spontaneously, and was just like, "30 Day Challenge"--and he's not doing one. It's like all these people needed some excuse to do all these things, and the "30 Day Challenge" is it. Love it. Gotta keep this up FOREVER.

p.p.s. I'm thinking of upgrading the challenge to something new, someone new, and FIVE conversations that I would not have had before. (Not just girls--whoever.) It's happening naturally, but think I could nudge myself along more. What do you all think?

Never Forget...

... how fucking possible it is.

I'm at a cafe. I just got the number of my super-cute waitress. She says "I never do this." I believe it. I am 80 feet tall and made of diamond. Just kidding.

Just sent my old professor an email as well. The "next step" has begun. And if the waitress said "no", I wouldn't have cared. That's how cool I am.

Don't forget it's possible. AND DON'T FUCKING SETTLE.

Game on, bros.

PROF

A Week in the Life of Prof - And a Mistake

Sup y'all. I'm back.

Where was I? Well, let's just say the 30 Day Challenge doesn't give me a lot of downtime. I'm tired ALL the time and poor to boot. It's not an avoidable downside to the challenge, but what can I say? Better than before.

So lots of cool stuff. Highlights include meeting the receptionist at my yoga studio, her inviting to hang out with her friends, me going back with them to watch a movie at their house (without the yoga girl), meeting her friend from SPAIN--courting her (chocolates and all! Don't worry, not chode like... promise). And I am taking her out tomorrow night because she's cool as any person I've met here... and from SPAIN. Did I mention that? Feeling good, but I'll need to define the relationship early so I don't end up like the old Protag (just kidding! sort of). Will let you know how that goes.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, I made a serious MISTAKE. A ROOKIE mistake... but my development's been slow, so that's alright. I spent time with a girl I shoudn't have. And by SHOULDN'T I mean: not particularly attracted to her physically, iffy personality, and OTHER GUY IN HER LIFE. That said, I didn't quite know the extent about the "other guy", but I did know that I should not have been there... from the core of my being. Don't tell my mom.

What's the lesson behind all this? One thing: STANDARDS. Not numbers. I think nearly every person I talk to is not living up to the standards they KNOW they could set for themselves. I'm sure there are people who's standards are way too high--but to be honest, I don't think I really know anyone personally like that.

For me, my standards that night were all fucked up--she failed my "shit tests" but still ended up hooking up with me... are you kidding me? Not to mention I had to shower for like 3 hours just feel like a normal person again.

But standards go for my job too... I need to set them for my career, the people in my life, etc. I've always tried to make sure I felt comfortable not matter who the people in my life were--high, low, whatever--but I think I've been actually avoiding the BEST people because I subconsciously think I'm not worthy: of their companies, their friendship, their loving, etc.

Rambling post, I know. But this shit's important. I NEVER want to feel how I felt that night again. And I worry that the dirty hippie thing I like to rock is really cause I'm afraid of the beautiful/cool/together girls that gravitate to the preppy side of life. And that sucks.

One last thing: nightly posts. That's the goal... want to reflect more on life, and can't even remember most of last week. To come.

PROF

Hello?

Prof., Protagonist, Maverick. Are you guys there?
If not I'll take over the blog and dedicate it to my favorite cookie recipes.

Soon

Johnny6 is on the cusp of the 30 day challenge. But what would a man as capable, charismatic, and downright charming as me do to inaugurate such an auspicious occasion, one which the scribes of tomorrow will write about? Well, I think my unveiling will be at a book reading in a nearby city. The author, a 27 year old female just debuted a novel about autistic children. The audience, a 26 year old devilishly handsome wunderkid named Johnny6. How shall I have her sign my book:

Johnny6, Thank you for revealing there is more than stories about emotionally stunted children in the world. The next book shall bear a dedication to you.
Your's always,
Author.

I don't think I'd sell that one on ebay, times might get tough; it happens. But what of the following 29 days? A rampage through local bars, a smiling tornado picking up all the women in front of me. Most likely. It will all end at a Mickey Avalon show late August with me and Protag. Prof. you and Maverick are welcome to join.

More Cowbell

Protagonist I need more. What's going on with you? How's single life?

Spoon Just Got Laid!

No, I don't know him. But that doesn't mean I can't be happy for him.

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/community/showthread.php?t=8022

-prof
p.s. Maverick is back.

Anger Flows Like Rivers

Last night I went out with two of my good friends. Neither are too social, so I wasn't quite sure how the night would progress. I opened a set on the muni and expected them to jump in and keep the conversation going, that's the way it usually works when I roll with Prof. or Protag. Both were silent content with laughing at the crazy person sharing the bus with us.

Finally, we get to a bar and we start talking to the group sitting next to us. Three girls and two guys, one of whom is related to two of the girls. At some point blood brother spits a popcorn kernel at my buddy, who understandably gets upset but only grumbles to us. Shortly thereafter I overhear this jerk start talking about my hometown and one of its larger yearly soirées. As a local I have a special loathing for these tourist events. Streets get closed, bars charge outrageous covers, special police are sent into town. It all seems rather much. In my drunken stupor I see this as an opportunity to tell off this guy feeling this would be vindication for insulting my friend. After I broach the subject and lay out my grievances with the annual convocation of assholes he asks me if I've ever been to the town. Yes, I have and I've lived there for fifteen years. He on the other hand does not live there but is trading off the fame of my home. Prick, but usual. This is not the first time I've had this conversation. But it gets worse

While I'm being a raging belligerent asshole I overhear one of my companions pull the girls aside and say, "This is what happens when there are too many guys and not enough girls. These guys are douchebags." I immediately stop harassing the tourist and turn my ire to my friend who I feel just sold me out. So while I was standing up for him and he returns the favor by making me look like a dick and doing some shameless self promotion. Of course, he feels he's done nothing wrong. This results with us leaving abruptly and me standing of the street corner with increasing rage and deteriorating rhetoric trying to explain why I feel slighted. I think he finally understood where I was coming from. At no point should you turn on your friends and try to make yourself look better in the face of their short comings.

But what did I learn? Well, I guess you have to know the company you keep and how they'll react in different situations. I'm certain that if a similar situations occurred my friend would act more appropriately. To some extent I think loyalty and honor can be learned in the face of regret at certain incidences, or this case a stern talking to. I think that was somewhere in "The Red Badge of Courage." Hopefully we can analyze our failing and improve upon them the next time around. But it's dangerous to go into the field with untested soldiers. At the very least expectations should be altered when entertaining new company. I came off like a giant asshole to everybody, my friends and strangers, but I feel I had a valid point but maybe my drinking hampered the evening. Certainly I could have handled the situation more tactfully had I not been approaching double figures on my alcohol intake. Something for me to think about.

Day 4 - Old Habits Die Hard + Letting Go

Another day, another party. Gotta love it.

Day 4: Thanks to my Google Calendar (tm), I knew that today was the going away party for a friend of mine that I "picked up" at a party (although she insists that she also picked up me... whatever) over a YEAR AGO. Scary. And it's at a bar famous for college students--gigantic, tons of people, most of whom seem very, very single. And a bit young. Or in the Navy. You get the picture.

Boyfriends
Ahead of time, I find out she's dating someone now so I'm prepared for hanging out with her friends, etc. I bring a good friend of mine (WB), and we go into the shit-show bar. I see her from the distance--looking extremely attractice, and very very drunk. I approach to say hi...

AND THEN SHE KISSES ME. On the lips. And starts touching me. And I look to her friend, and she's like WE NEED TO GO NOW. I turn to her other friend, and ask her about the boyfriend--"He's right there, in the blue polo shirt (no joke)."

Fucked up. Through the night, she returns to dance with me (drunkenly--I almost killed her while trying to dip her....) until I tell her to stop trying to make her boyfriend jealous.

An ego boost? Yes. Totally fucked up? Yes too. I've never been on the other side of that, but I've been close--hanging out with a girlfriend's ex, or previous/current crush, etc.--but this must have been brutal.

Old Habits
Saw the girl from twenty feet away. I think beautiful--buddy doesn't see much in her, particularly. But I don't know--I pick up on personality more than most... that's why I don't really think about models, etc. Don't like most of their vibes.

My buddy starts talking to her--"Is your name Stephanie?", etc., etc. I chode out. She's nearby for the rest of the night (and this is BIG bar). And I never talk to her. Guys keep approaching her; I see guys open them. What a wonderful world; but I feel like I'm five years old. Totally intimidated if you not by her--she was quite nice to my obnoxious friend--by the constant stream of guys. Intimidation: need to leave it behind.

She was SUPPOSED to be mine. I don't know how I know that, but I do.

Don't go home alone
But the night isn't over yet. And after dragging a friendofafriend (visiting from law school elsewhere) to the dance floor; after communicating zero needy-interest in her, her friend invites both of us back to her place. Fast-forward a few hours, I'm telling her all my theories of attraction/life, and she's like YES!!!! Evidently law school is the worst of the worst: a bunch of nerdy guys who plan on using money, looks, and status to get girls. Quid pro quo--like a contract. That's hot. Not.

Anyway, I guess I established that "I'm not the other guys," because she wanted me to TEACH other guys this stuff--I was like, um, I'm still working on my game, thanks.

I ended up on the couch with her, cuddling, and I'm convinced one of the main reasons is that I'm constantly thinking "eh, this could go either way and i'm completely fine with it," while still slowly moving in the direction of happening.

[I have a theory that people sub-consciously directly pick up your thoughts--and I actually mean directly. Its not paranormal: just that people's brains are part of their bodies, and therefore thoughts create ripples in the body. Just read the tai-chi parts of The Art of Learning. Actually don't--it's going to be my christmas gift for everybody.]

I'm giving off that thought deeply, and it's very comfortable. We start cuddling, and at one point she tells me "I don't want to have sex." And I react in a way I haven't really reacted in for a long time--like a gentleman. Sort of. "Okay, don't worry about it. We won't." And then just keep on keeping on.

And as I said it, all worry just sort of floated away in her. It was cool. She established that she has some power, that I respect it, but that I'm also not going to (a) give up, (b) be hurt, (c) feel ashamed. We ended up not (again, totally fine) but more importantly it felt right.

Woke up, walked home, and made it work half hour late. Not bad.

Lessons learned
1) Girls like lots of guys. They spend time with multiple guys at a time. They generally sleep with only one at a time, but sometimes more (e.g. Sperm Wars). If they are not, they are at least preparing the next possible guy to sleep with while dating one guy. (That's just subconscious common sense.)

2) Not choding out is my number one self-development goal. In anything. I actually just choded out at lunch--beautiful looking girl in a table nearby, looked interesting and beautiful. Had plenty of opportunity. Fundamentally, I think the 30 Day Challenge is about not choding out in the broadest sense of the word.

3) Only WANT things insofar as you can avoid feeling rejected, shamed, disappointed, or otherwise if you DON'T get them. (Paradoxical, I know.) Any of those feelings will be communicated beforehand, hurting both your ability to function, the flow of the situation, and your perceived value. Must learn to "want" without disturbing the flow between you and the wanted--an art of desire?

Going to a concert tonight. What's up with y'all?

prof

Freedom?

It's finally happening. And my feelings are so mixed I don't know up from down. But after almost 3 years...

I'm breaking up with my girlfriend.

Or rather, she's breaking up with me. Or rather, she's leaving me because I'm not that into her. She even has a book about it called He's Just Not That Into You.

And I suppose really I'm not. And I haven't been since very early on the relationship. Which brings me to the C3 part of this post.

I need to stop being caught by girls. I'm the one who should do the catching.

And even more emphatically, I need to stop ending relationships by either leaving the country or treating her like shit for 2 years until she's finally had enough and leaves.

It's fucking awful. And totally not who I want to be. Kurt Russell wouldn't do it. Bruce Cambpell wouldn't do it. And shit if they don't do it, then I don't want to do it.

My goal for the rest of my dating years is to be clear and honest about where I'm at and what I want AND to actually take action on it. If I'm over it, it's not enough to say "Baby, I don't think I'm into you anymore... seriously, you should dump me..."

That's not at all what I want to say. What I want to say is

"Baby, this isn't working out. I'm not feeling it. It's over. No, no, tears won't break my steely resolve or soften my gigantic testicles, it's over"

Or at the very least I wanna be like an old timey kid setting his pet wild animal free to roam the woods:

"Go Pojo. Just go!! Don't follow me! I don't love you Pojo! I never loved you! Just go!!"

The truth is my girlfriend (ex girlfriend?) is awesome. There are a million things I love about her and I'm deathly afraid I won't be able to find anyone like her. I'm afraid I'll never have another connection anywhere near as deep as I have with her.

And cliche as it is, I honestly think she deserves someone who will appreciate her more.

We've had this pattern where she pursues me from the beginning of our relationship. So my first mistake was letting myself be roped into a relationship... though I wouldn't give up a minute of it... so that's a conundrum I guess.

But anyway, in this case my BIG mistake was trying to force us apart by acting cold and being mean to her. Partially because I hoped she would dump me as result, partially because I thought it would allow me to break up with her.

Bitch move on my part. Pussy too. And quite a bit douchey as well. I know I'm playing it off but it really does make me feel facking terrible.

So, to avoid this I have (2) goals (which I've already mentioned, but I'm going to state them again in official form)

• 
  (1) Actively pursue women I find amazing (instead of being afraid of them). This should keep me from just falling in with whomever decides I should be their boyfriend.
  


• 
  (2) If I somehow do end up in a relationship I don't want to be in, sack up and end it. Clint Eastwood style. Come right out and say it and stick to the decision. No take backs.
  

In the mean time, I'll be taking a break from the dating scene. No rebound for me thank you very much.

But I look forward to some new shit through Johnny6, the Prof and the Tharutee Daiyo Challenju! Hai!

--Protagonist

Day 1-3: Success at Last!

Hey all-

Okay, it's been three days in the 30 day challenge. Have a few epiphanies, and one "successful" night. But the epiphanies overall-more important.

Day 1: Stopped at every turn. Don't know exactly what happened, but I do remember the first time I thought "fuck, I really don't know anyone in DC. that needs to change, okay prof?". So after working out, instead of going home and doing whatever i do there (not blog appropriate), i stopped by the grungy-but-cool-looking bar near my home.

Went in and ordered a drink (and after a workout, basically got me drunk), and joked around with this really drunk and possibly gay black guy.

And even though I felt out of place; even though I had a hard time acting normal and not intimidated and shy around this truly nice gjuy; I realized the benefits of just doing straight up NEW things. I'm sitting there and realizing that all the times that I didn't want to get drinks with friends after work... that I was missing something basic (that's sometimes lost on them too, to be fair): the beauty of just kicking back with friends and enjoying life. The tables around me were full of mid-30s and older people just hanging out and talking and joking... what an empty life without that sort of communal happiness. Right fucking on.

Day 2: More depressing than the last? Dunno. I didn't have anything planned (need to get better--got the full rss feed + google calendar things going on now, so I'm golden), and on my way out of work, ask a quiet but cool girl if we wants to join me to some far-off mall that supposed (though not in reality...) has cheap eye exams. (I need contacts if I'm going to truly rock out this month).

She joined me, and then we went to a local bar that I would never go to otherwise--out in VA, somewhere I generally avoid (city snob that I am).

It was cool--suddenly I'm hanging out with someone new, watching a local poker tournament, and spent an hour browsing clothes in a mall. When do i ever do these things?

But it was also sort of sobering. "Being social" is not enough. She was cool but shy--and frankly didn't want a rockstar life. I realized that even the right places require the right people to have a good time, and build deep social circles. Shy people--or whatever--just aren't going to cut it. Being social is more than hanging out with people--it's gotta be the right people. Or maybe I just need to bring the party myself? Way of the superior man, no doubt.

Day 3: The first UNQUALIFIED SUCCESS.

Same situation as before. No friends. I'm getting used to this concept. There's an epic concert that I just heard about--a "gypsy punk" band called Gogol Bordello. But it's epic, and sold out, and I'm just too late. But it's looks so cool--an entire club dancing insanely, sweaty, and loving it.

So I'm resigned to watch a different band at a club loner style (that's not sold out), and just hope to god my ex isn't there with her friends. Not the way of the superior man, but anyway... but instead start talking to a friend of mine in the gym--and convince HIM to try to buy tickets with me. And he invites a girl he knows; I work my skills outside the club and suddenly we have three tickets and a kickass concert to go to.

And in the middle moshing around with big dudes, small dudes, young girls, and girls my age (god forbid), it occurs to me a) how awesome life is, b) how even with the right PEOPLE and the right SITUATION (this band is amazing, trust me), you still need the right c) skills/attitudes/etc. to take it the next level. I realized that in order to create the situations that I'm dying to have, I need to learn the skills to make them work.

My buddy R is a serious flirt, so he opens everyone and gets everyone talking everywhere. Good stuff. By the end of the show, I'm rocking out and see this beautiful girl sort of next to me. So I nod to her, put my shoulder up against hers, and we start jumping in time with one another and generally rocking out. And it's totally fucking cool. Did I mention she's beautiful?

At the end of the night, she's talking with a guy with her girlfriend, and I keep hesistating to go back and say whatsup. But instead of beating myself up about it, I just sort of laugh about it. Much healthier. Anyway, end up rolling up to say hi, and totally, totally blow it.

I talk with her for a second, joke with the guy, then lean over and ask him "is it cool if I ask for her number?" I know. Embarrassing. But let me continue. He says, "Well, she has a boyfriend." At this point, I feel comfortably (if depressingly) in friend territory, and just say to her "You have a boyfriend?!!!" and whatever. End with "nice meeting you."

No name. No number. Not even MY name. Jesus. AFC all the way. [Side note: once saw a logo that said "AFC Not For Me". How much do I want that shirt.]

But imagine this instead. Walk up:

prof: Hey, wanted to introduce myself. I'm prof.
girl: i'm _____
girl2: _____
guy: _______
prof: it's was fun dancing with you two. you come here much?
girl: [whatever.]
prof: what was the last show?
girl: [asdf]
prof: not bad [or whatever]. I'm seeing DBT on Friday... you going?
girl: Yeah, actually...
prof: cool, i'm pre-partying with some friends beforehand. why don't come out? i'll call you when I head out.

etc, etc.

Here's the point: she WANTED me to be confident. She WANTED me to feel worthy. She WANTED me to make her work. She WANTED me to invite her to something that wasn't a DATE or GIRLFRIEND related, but a chance for her to impress me and vice versa.

Especially at this age, people are just looking for people that believe they are worthy. Jobs, girls, whatever. Able to take pushback (as we say in the consulting world, etc.), and able to make them work for you as much you work for them. Way of the superior man.

I sold myself short--once again. Maybe that's the most IMMEDIATE thing I want to change. Just the feeling of worthiness; the expectations for how other people should react to me. Because people WANT to interact with people who feel worthy--not superior, but worthy--because it's a deeper interaction; it's not hidden behind lots of little jokes, nervous polite questions, lack of eye contact, and fundamental fear. The "skill" that puas learn is largely around becoming, believing, and acting like you're worthy of whatever you is that you want. And that goes for everything, no?

--

But larger point, that shouldn't be forgotten--Day 3 was a raging success. This is the sort of concert that every later goes, "man, I wish I went to that." The 30 Day Challenge is already a success, but need to keep finding a) situations, b) people, and c) the attitude and skills that we create the social situations that I truly want.

We'll see. How you boys doing?

-prof

The Revelations of Johnny6

I guess I'm the only member yet to be unveiled. Tardy is the new punctual, very hard to pull off on a blog. So I'll jump in.

I'll admit to being a little scared of the challenge,but I'm willing to give it the old college try. My trepidations lie in all the excuses previously outlined by Prof. Despite the fact that he so eloquently and logically debunked them these reasons still linger. But I've also been confounded by what to do. As often the case action is inversely proportional to options. I've started asking others what they would do if the challenge were posed to them. Any ideas I have might still fall within my limitations of imagination, so to get the most out of this I'm open to ideas. I've been phrasing it "what would you do if you had 30 days to live?" The people I've asked have no good answers. So far I've gotten; shorten my life, hang out with family, and rack up credit card debt. Are people so dull that even their dreams are boring? For most of us that's an average Monday. Braving a commute, smoking a cigarette, and paying rent fulfill all those requirements.

I've found my own answers to those questions to be more expansive and in some cases grandiose, the parameters of the challenge limit some of these ideas. And some of my ideas are as banal as somebodies Monday. I guess it's all relative. I was frightened to learn that some of my answers to this question were my biggest secrets, the lives I dream about while starring off into space at work. I doubt I will lie on my deathbed lamenting partaking in life or this challenge, unless this has a murderous stipulation I'm unaware of. Now that I know what I want do I dare to achieve it?

The 30 Day Challenge - Explained

Fucking blogger erased my first explanation. Maybe a sign from the gods? I will ignore it anyway.

I've been thinking about what the point of the 30 Day Challenge is. I think at the end of the day, it's just a way to get rid of the EXCUSES that CONSUME everyday life. Here's a short list of the many that I go through every day:

1) Too Tired (unless I'm falling asleep at work and fully cafeinated, this should not apply).
2) Just need to "relax" (what is wrong with you? what's more relaxing than a post-coital cuddle? thought so.)
3) Too much work (but you don't really DO any work. And you need deadlines anyway. Why not fuck around until they come?)
4) Better timing later (yeah. it would suck to have fun while i'm still young. and besides, the good timing never actually comes, so this is idiotic.)
5) Not "me" (so highschool i am embarrassed to write this. the central tenet the puas spend their lives destroying. thank god.)
6) Procrastination (a more difficult problem... i think i have some sort of disease.)
7) Lots of little stuff (umm... who CARES how clean your room is? or that you're wearing clean boxers, or whatever. Can't you do that when there's not something AWESOME going on?)

etc, etc.

You see the point. I think the 30 Day Challenge is about a) realizing what you want, b) forcing yourself to overcome the little rationalizations that stop EVERYBODY from getting what they want. Seriously. Do you think ANYONE wants to live in a routine, doing the same stuff, cuddling with their girlfriends/boyfriends, unless they are totally exhausted the "newness" and TRULY need a recharge? Don't think so. There's just lots, and lots, and lots of excuses.

Why do you people always drunk dial? They want to HANG OUT and SOCIALIZE and do something cool, but when they're sober they're like, "I forgot the million and one reasons I shouldn't call." But are they GOOD REASONS? Not usually.

I think everyone's got their own version of the 30 Day Challenge, but the common element is this: instead of spending each day thinking about why something you want isn't "convenient" today; it's about DESPARATELY FINDING A WAY to do something despite inconvenience. Because if you don't, you're a big chode. And C3 will be testament to your chodeness. And I will send the link to your mother.

Rock out dudes. My take on my 30 day experiment coming up... although i'm too tired to write it tonight.

word!

PROF

30 Things for 30 days

Ah the 30 day challenge. I'm not sure I'll participate due to the possibility of dealing with other shit. Which I will post about later... But I insist on being someone's old person to do new things with.

Here's what we have so far. Some of these ideas are from me, some from a yet-to-be named C3 bad ass who is facing the challenge:

Ride a motorcycle
Learn how to dance
Protest something
Volunteer or give blood
Attend a kick boxing class (probably with Protagonist)
Yoga (probably with Protagonist or my friend -----)
Stop smoking
Go to a museum
Invite a stranger or casual acquaintance to see a movie with me
Tell a stranger she's beautiful
Go to an open mic night and perform a comedy routine

And my personal ideas:

Submit a story or cartoon to the New Yorker or some similar publication
Try an acting class
Try out AS an actor in a commercial or something
Go fishing (I've never done it anyway)
Try rock climbing
Paintball!
Make some Guerilla Art ala Banksy
Throw someone a party. Possibly someone returning from a trip...
Have a waiter deliver a drink to a stranger or group of strangers. When they look over, raise your glass with a crooked smile.

That's 20 so we still need at LEAST 10 more. And I dare anyone to come up with something better than that last one.

Good luck ye kings of men.

--Protagonist

Well you fuckers...

the blog is officially launched. Here we go. Start posting.

I will share with you all my random thoughts, hopefully in a way that makes my life/our lives more awesome. Do the same.

First up: 30 Day Challenge.

-prof